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Later at a deserted wine bar, Chris gives Kaitlyn a rose. That’s in his contract: Any woman he sees, he can lick her face. Britt’s last shred of sanity slips through her fingers and she starts bitching and moaning. She starts crying and glaring at Chris and Kaitlyn because she’s hurt and confused and sad. Britt does not seem to grasp the fundamental concept that she’s here for Chris, not the other way around. Is Chris the man she wants to take to meet her parents because he would rather validate some whiny skank’s feelings and not reward her for being the hottest? I feel like Britt would be one of those people who gets upset when she goes to Mc Donald’s after 11 a.m.

Overlooking the picturesque and brown Des Moines River, Britt lies through her lipstick-stained teeth and tells Chris that she could totally live in Arlington on his farm with Chris’s cows. He’s a man on a TV show who is contractually obligated to make out with any women within a one-mile radius.

Her strongest form, in fact — a drunk blonde in a bandage dress. was dangerously close to uncovering a conspiracy that goes all the way to the top: a gambling ring run by the cast and crew and Monsieur Le Chiffre, banker and terrorist financier. have been eliminated and edited to appear as a drunk to discredit her accusations? I know enough about modern dating to know that asking a man how he feels about you will end up with you in a limo driving away — I made that mistake last year at the NBA All-Star game. Chris tells the women there won’t be another rose — Derrick, I still pine for you — rose ceremony because he ditched Megan, and all of the ladytestants head to Iowa to get to see Chris’s hometown.

The central question of this episode is “Can you live in Arlington?

Whitney and Chris go to a totally real photo exhibit that a real artist put together in Des Moines and take photos all over the city.

(Full disclosure: I once was in a long-distance relationship with someone who lives in Des Moines and hearing it described as a “metropolis” made me laugh …

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